Gee Whiz


The Hobbit

I hated the Hobbit movies, I really did, so much so I had to do some maths.

The Hobbit is a brief novel of only 300 pages, at 95,022 words, it's about 320 words per page. The cumulative runtime of all three Hobbit movies is about 8 hours. Specifically - 498 minutes, considering that a picture is worth a thousand words - at 48 frames per second, the Hobbit trilogy is worth 1,434,240,000 words, 4,482,000 pages, which is around 14,940 times longer the novel. And at 1,103 times longer than the current Guinness world record holder. The Hobbit movies are actually not movies at all, but are in fact the longest book ever written.

The paper used would likely be about 0.0037 inches, following from the previous numbers, we get about 1381 feet. The Hobbit trilogy is the 17th tallest building in the world.

At just about a gram per page the Hobbit trilogy are a weighty 4,482 kilos. With an upper limit of 711 kg, it's not unreasonable to think that Peter Jackson's bloated trilogy was also a pack of 6 ravenous Great White sharks.

Truly - if we had a faithful adaptation of the book we'd be looking at a much shorter film. Following my previous argument (a picture is worth a thousand words etc.) a truly faithful Hobbit movie would be just 1.97 seconds long.

If you wish simulate the length of the Hobbit movies, don't bother watching, just read the previous post 10,318,273 times.

Finally - if Jackson was pushed by New Line Cinema to course correct in response to the Hobbit's bloated runtime an adaptation of the Silmarillion, one of Tolkien's more impenetrable works, we would be looking at a film of just over 2.7 seconds long.

Gareth Graham